Woody has been pestering me the past couple of months to make a movie for the 3rd Annual Tiny Film Festival, but the reality is I hate the thought of other people looking at my face not in real life and I also despise my voice on camera (I can't believe I sound that annoying). To make up for this failure I've decided to write about my all-time favorite film series, Harry Potter. After watching the final film this past summer, I'm so despondent that I'll never have another Harry Potter thing to look forward to. The movies and books have kept me in suspense for a stretch of 10 years, which is more than half of my life. I don't have anything Harry Potter to look forward to anymore. I'm sure millions of people felt the same exact way when they finished watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow Part 2. While arguing which Star Wars films are best is an easy task because there is only three of them (Empire Strikes Back, A New Hope, Return of the Jedi---in that order, just to set the record straight), ranking the Harry Potter films will make people actually think because there are eight of them, and none of them suck. You'd expect at least one film out of the seven to be a failure, but this film franchise has had so much money and so many talented actors and actresses that a black sheep film never came to fruition. Here's my attempt at it, and I can't wait to hear what everyone else thinks...
1) Prisoner Of Azkaban (2004)
This film has so many things that make you think. It may not have the action of the later films, but it's plot takes so many twists and turns that it doesn't dumb the viewer down. Director Alfonso Cuaron took the script and made the film a lot darker than the previous two films. Harry and his buddies aren't exactly "cute" anymore. Seeing the wizards and witches in regular clothes and putting them in the backdrop of a much darker Hogwarts signals a transition of the entire bigger story. Time-traveling is such a huge mindfuck too. Everytime I watch the end of POA I always end up frustrated because I can't wrap my head around how future Harry and Hermione know when to do certain things like throw rocks at the past Harry and Hermione. Confused by that sentence? I am too.
2) Deathly Hallows Part 2 (2011)
DHP2 was dope because it was one big fight. I apologize for the Star Wars references, but when I was a kid growing up, I always had to have a gun or a sword to recreate scenes from the Star Wars movies. Now, kids that watch Harry Potter can pick up a stick off the ground and yell things out like "Stupefy" "Crucio" and "Expelliarmus" and they'll experience the same imagination high that my generation did from playing with expensive light sabers. This movie is flawless. There were so many scenes where in my head I said, "That's exactly how I imagined that shit when I was reading it." The insane fire scene when Harry gets the last Horcrux? Exactly how I imagined it. Molly Weasley attacking Bellatrix? Exactly how I imagined it. Harry at King's Cross? Exactly how I imagined it.
3) Goblet of Fire (2005)
Action. Action. Action. That's what this film has going for it. The first Triwizard task where Harry has to go get the gold egg and escape the dragon is one of the best scenes in the entire film series. The one thing I don't like about this movie is how Dumbledore acts. There were certain scenes including the one where Harry's name comes out of the Goblet where Dumbledore gets angry. There are very few times if any when Dumbledore gets angry in the books. I'm also pissed off that they decided to skip the entire Quidditch match at the beginning. I know time is a concern, but not seeing Viktor Krum in action was a huge disappointment. This was also the first Harry Potter film to get a PG-13 rating for violent scenes and frightening images. At the end of the film when Cedric's dad is mourning over his son's dead body, you think to yourself, "Wow. Shit just got real." And I think that is what this film does, it completes the transition from the first three films to the next four films and sets the tone for a darker and more serious story.
4) Sorceror's Stone (2001)
I can watch SS over and over again and not get sick of it. It's sort of turned into a film like Sandlot where I can finish the character's lines. Though the acting sucks, and Harry Potter is super corny (especially at the end), this film did a great job at capturing the magic of the Harry Potter series. For people that haven't read any of the books, I think this movie does a great job at setting the scene and explaining the rules and features of the Wizarding world. Try watching SS and then watching the very last movie. It's an amazing transformation to see the chemistry that has been built between the three leads.
5) Half-Blood Prince (2009)
This is a real good set-up to the last two films. Snape is becoming more prominent and his acting comes through in this film. You know what else becomes prominent in this film? Hermione's hotness. I got to be real with you here, Hermione is like the perfect girl. She's smart and she's pretty. WHY THE HELL DOES SHE LIKE RON WEASLEY? Weasley complains, he's always jealous of Harry and he's ugly. I guess opposites attract? Right?
6) Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Moaning Myrtle is my least-favorite character that is portrayed in all of the films. Other than that, I feel this movie is a lot less cornier than SS but falls short in terms of plot and character development. The film was an accurate portrayal but failed to add a visual aid to the themes presented in the book. The films ranked No. 1 through No. 5 all had something extra going for it along with the excellent plot. In CoS I felt the movie was just going through the motions, there is no defining feature to the film.
7) Deathly Hallows Part 1 (2010)
This movie is just way too slow. I remember I walked out of the movie theatre just unsatisfied (the complete opposite way I felt after watching Part 2). That's the problem with sequels...they always make you wanting more. In every film there's been a good balance of action and emotion, and if the action overpowered (see Goblet of Fire) then the film could get away with it. In DHP1 I feel like they forced the emotion. This movie as a stand-alone film is just plain boring. Combine it with DHP2 and it's the perfect set-up.
8) Order of Phoenix (2007)
I didn't come out of this film raving about the action or how hot Hermione was, but all I could think of was how awesome Umbridge was played. And when that's the stand-out part of the film, it's a bad sign. Like I said before, even though this is ranked last, it's still a pretty good movie. Everything was subpar though. The action wasn't nearly as awesome as Goblet of Fire. Also, Harry's character isn't as moody or shut-off like in the book. The movie tries admirably, but instead of Harry going through puberty you get Harry acting like a crazy person.
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